An Open Letter to Gay Guys Who Look Down On “Fem Guys”
Why Do Some Gay Guys Date…Themselves?
Straight Guys: What to do When You Get a “D**k Pic”
I Don’t Want to Go to Church. Stop Asking

Billboard Music Awards 2015 Winner Predictions!

BBMAs 2015 Bold & Sugar

The annual Billboard Music Awards airs tonight at 8PM EST on ABC with performances from the likes of Britney Spears, Nicki Minaj, and of course Taylor Swift (Does she ever NOT perform at an awards show? Sheesh). With the competition (Mostly between fan bases) at an all-time high, many of use are curious to see who will take home and who will leave empty-handed.

So, without further ado, here are our predictions for tonight’s award ceremony.

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An Open Letter to People Telling Me What to do In My 20s

Gay 20s 2014 Bold & Sugar

 

Perhaps I’ll sound like a spoiled millennial writing this, but that’s fine. And it’s pretty much the point.

Most people in their 20s are currently experiencing one of the biggest quarter-life crises since…forever. We’re learning that college doesn’t exactly do what our high school teachers promised it would, most of us are up to our ears in debt because no one taught us things in high school beyond how to prepare for a standardized test, and we’re basically killing each other to get better jobs. It’s tough.

So, when we stumble upon an article that proclaims it knows “23 things every 23-year-old should know” we think “Huzzah! Finally! The answer to all of life’s questions!”

You read the first couple of suggestions nodding your head, thinking “Okay, I’m down with that. Who doesn’t want to go snorkeling for no reason?”, but then it dawns on you. Does me not doing all of these wonderful, amazing things mean I’m an unfulfilled, cowardly hermit with a Final Fantasy-sized existential crisis?

Lately, on various websites like Buzzfeed and Thought Catalog, it’s become a regular thing to post articles basically telling twenty-something-year-olds to “do this or you’ll LITERALLY die as soon as you turn 30 because you’re not random and exciting enough!”

Maybe I don’t want to get out more. Maybe I do want to get out more. Maybe I want children right now, but maybe I’m just not going to have them. Maybe I’m not ready for children, but I want to have them anyway. You see where I’m going with this. Is life about following a checklist according to what decade you’re in, or is it about actually living it according to how you want to live it?

Now, of course, everyone needs to see where they measure up from time to time. We all want to feel normal. However, just because you only check off a minuscule amount of “standard twenty-something things” each time you read a magazine obnoxiously telling you have more one-night stands, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person. It just means…..nothing actually. It means nothing.

Long story short, you can follow a list telling you to “make more career moves” and “take more risks in life”, or you can live life based on who you are and what you want to achieve. There’s only one thing you should be aspiring for in life. Not 20 things for 20-year-olds. That one thing…it’s just happiness.

Just be happy. Live life on your own terms. Set your own checklist, and if you end up straying from it, well, that’s what’s called living.

 

Be *Insert Anything You Want to Be Here*…It’s #GLAADSpiritDay!!!!

PicMonkey Collage

What is so special about October 16, 2014?

People from all over the world are standing with LGBT youth and joining together to stop bullying.

According to GLAAD, this holiday began in 2010. “Observed annually since 2010, individuals, schools, organizations, corporations, and public figures wear purple, which symbolizes ‘spirit’ on the rainbow flag”.

Tons of celebrities have already joined in including every one’s fave, Laverne Cox, ABC Family, and many more!

Another cool addition to #spiritday? GLAAD has incorporated a web tool that can turn your profile picture purple on Twitter and Facebook!

Show your support and join us in #GLAADSpiritDay!

Gay Parenting and What the Child Has to Say About It

Mother Kiss Happy Child Bold & Sugar 2014

The media loves to talk about a child’s well-being when it comes to having gay or lesbian parents. How in the world will that boy know anything about masculinity with two dads and what about that little girl’s femininity with two moms? Think of the children! Sarcasm, of course, but the interesting thing is not many children are asked how they perceive their same-sex parents or the issues that encompass their lives. Society is caught up in how children are affected, but they’re just too busy to actually ask them. Continue Reading →

Do It To Prove It?

Dancing Hearts Bold & Sugar 2014

I have a friend who’s a reality show junkie. Admittedly, I’ve watched a fair share of the genre but as I’ve gotten older, I moved onto more scripted and critically acclaimed dramas and comedies. Not to say reality television doesn’t have it’s merits! It’s always an ice breaker for creating dialogue and great for pop culture references.

In this particular conversation, she was telling me about MTV’s show “Virgin Territory.” It profiles real individual’s experiences in love and sex. Some of the cast are waiting until marriage, looking to lose the “v-card” now, or just ready to take the next step with their significant other.

Our society is so fixated on everybody else’s sex. Are they having it; why aren’t they having it; how much and with whom? I have mixed feelings about MTV featuring a show about young people’s private matters. I think a dialogue about sex is so important. It’s been treated as such a taboo subject and there’s so much mis-education. However, I often criticize MTV’s approach.

Regardless, my recent conversation wasn’t about the actual existence of the show, it was about one of the cast members, Alec. At 21 years old, Alec came out to his friends and family on “Virgin Territory.” Welcomed and loved, he was then open and felt free to find a boyfriend and lose his virginity. However, he faced some interesting criticisms that my friend and I found rather offensive. During a night out, some of the gay men he encountered claimed he was not gay because he was a virgin.

While I believe the general public tends to have a difficult time wrapping their minds around issues of sexuality and gender, I’ve always had accepting and engaging conversations with other members of the LGBT* community. To me, it would seem that Alec’s lack of engagement hardly has any bearing on his sexual identity. No one has ever speculated that someone wasn’t straight because they’re a virgin. What about individuals who identify as bisexual but have never been in a homosexual relationship?

Granted, I haven’t seen the footage featured on “Virgin Territory” and this is simply conversational, but I’m very curious to know if other LGBT* individuals have experienced these criticisms or believe them to be true.

LBGT* Issues…Equal to All?

Fists Bold & Sugar 2014

There has been debate over an acronym that suits the LGBT* community as a whole. Inclusion is important, but this debate of an appropriate descriptor can be cumbersome and non-productive. Even still, another debate considering this acronym was brought to my attention: Why must these very different walks of life be grouped into one category?

After a few brief conversations, I realized and agree that not everyone under this “queer umbrella” is fighting for the same issues, or holding the same weight the media is to certain issues. Yet, the media groups everyone together as if all topics of discussion are important to every letter in our acronym. And then I got to thinking that perhaps this creates some erasure of other issues that are important.

While I’ve had mixed feelings in the past about some of the popular lists BuzzFeed publishes, I saw a great one today.

7 LGBT Issues That Matter More than Marriage

I think what I loved most about this list was the inclusion of intersectionality. Issues of race, gender, and income are real and simple visibility can potentially advantage or disadvantage any individual. For example, my gay, black friend doesn’t face the same concerns or potential disadvantages as by my bisexual, white friend. The fact that some people inherently have more privilege than others while navigating today’s society, is a legitimate concern in and outside the LGBT* community.

So, in a call to discussion, would you agree that the media’s grouping or focus on particular LGBT* concerns hinders the other efforts that fall outside the trending spotlight?

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: Four Years Later

Military Love Bold & Sugar 2014

When Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) was repealed in December of 2010 and fully implemented by October of 2011, military personnel were assured attitudes towards “out” soldiers would not change and every one should be treated the same. Four years later, I sought to explore if the military’s claim held true or if soldiers still feel fear or scrutiny in coming out.

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National Coming Out Day Do’s and Don’ts

National Coming Out Day Bold & Sugar 2014

National Coming Out Day is October 11th!

National Coming Out Day has been celebrated for the past 26 years and has exceeded past our American borders to many other countries.  For some, it’s a wonderful opportunity, but for others it’s scary as hell!  Here’s a (non-exclusive) list of guidelines to pass on to friends and allies to navigate this Saturday. Continue Reading →

An Open Letter to All You Non-Feminists

Group Sketch Bold & Sugar 2014

Yes, this is yet another blog post about why you should call yourself a feminist. But before you roll your eyes and move on, maybe ask yourself “Why not?” You probably label yourself as a lot of other things that identify a particular belief or lifestyle. The media has probably stigmatized you one way or another yet you still stand proud, so why is “feminist” any different?

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“Never Make a Permanent Decision from a Temporary Issue”. It’s National Suicide Prevention Month.

simone battle

Simone Battle, known as a member of pop group, GRL and a finalist on the X Factor in 2011, was born in Los Angeles… June 17, 1989…

On September 5th…. Simone was found dead in her West Hollywood home, according to the Los Angeles Times …it’s been ruled as suicide. She was only 25.

In light of Simone’s truly unfortunate death, it’s also National Suicide Prevention Week and National Suicide Prevention Month…

I’ve lost friends to suicide…as I’m sure most people have. I’ve heard people call it a “weak ultimatum”…

You never know what someone’s going through…ever. Some people face their demons differently and sometimes…life gets too hard for some to handle.

Your life is important…regardless of what you’re told or how you feel. You’re important. If you have no one else… You can always call the Suicide hotline (800) 273-8255.

Don’t make a permanent decision over temporary issues… Everything is going to be alright.

You are loved and You are important. Spread the word. It’s National Suicide Prevention week: September 7th-14th AND September is National Suicide Prevention Month.